I have not been able to visit my own blog for quite awhile mainly because I did not have the luxury of time to do it. My work situation remains the same; if any, it actually has gone drastically worse with respect to workload and stress level. Every once in a while when I would get emotional outbursts that needed venting out, I would retort to http://www.xpressionlane.com/ where my diary quietly and privately resides. Talking to Leda the other day, I was reminded of this blog. Hence, here I am, writing my thoughts away and eventually will be posting the manifestation of these collected thoughts into cyberworld, for posterity's sake.
The first thing I did when I logged in (after successfully getting the password at third try) is checked my most recent post (which is not so recent after all) dated March 2009. I browsed quickly to see what the post was about. Words of note included Pennsylvania; Fools Rush In; there are signs everywhere; and Starry Starry Night. Hmmmm...
I was in Penn last October 2009. I spent a week in Lebanon County. During the long drive from New York to Lebanon, I was savouring the overwhelming feeling that I was actually travelling and going to places I have only read about in books and seen in movies during my growing up years. Indeed, it was very memorable for me.
FOOLS RUSH IN
Some might not agree with me here but I believe that THERE ARE SIGNS EVERYWHERE. You just have to know which ones are for you. I was never a follower of horoscopes. I am not a fan of serendipity either. There are no accidents in this world. Everything happens for a purpose. Incidents occur for a reason.
A couple of years ago, I unintentionally threw away a pair of leather gloves that I really loved. I was so upset that time and tried to get comfort from someone whom I regarded as a special someone. I sent this person a text message and his reply was something to this effect: "Don't be upset now, baby. I'll get you two more gloves if you want." I smiled instantly at that time. Who would not? The mere thought was enough, especially that this person was very dear to me. As expected, this person never gave me any gloves. I could live without leather gloves. I could buy a dozen pairs of different colors if I want to. The pair of gloves was revealed as an epitomy when this person took off on me without the courtesy of even saying goodbye. He just vanished along with his lies and broken promises leaving me with a badly wounded heart.
Winter had come and gone and a new flame revived my heart. Two winters since I lost my gloves, this new flame of mine bought me a very pretty leather gloves. My heart was really soothed and touched with this act. I made a promise to him and myself that I will not lose these gloves. Guess what? Christmas Day and my fairly new pair of gloves is missing. We tried to go back to where I might have left them, searched the car, searched my place, searched my bestfriend's place where we spent the night, to no sucess. After a couple of days or so, when I told a friend I still have not found my gloves, her reply was, "Move on na. Gloves lang yun." Yes, she is right. Gloves nga lang yun but my sentimental side was telling me there was more to it than just the gloves. Another friend even joked about it being an omen to something relating it to the ex-gloves experience but I dismissed that thought right away; I would not even dare go there.
Hold on, do not react yet, because the gloves saga did not end there. A couple of days before New Year's Eve, my BFF Neil phoned me while I was at work. "Gusto mo ng good news? ... Nakita ko yung gloves mo ..."
And so my Facebook status that day said: Karen Mae Pagulong will have a sweet reunion with her leather gloves :) i'm taking this as a good sign ♥
STARRY, STARRY NIGHT
It was during fall when we first met. You had the initial impression that I am a very quiet shy person and you wanted to tap out of me my wacky self. Yes, I was indeed very quiet during that time because I was wrapped up in my own shell hurting. It did not take that long for you to crack my shell though. Soon enough, I was smiling and laughing and being myself again. The walks that we took together on our way home, the casual late night talks, the lunches at work ... We knew right away that we clicked. Though we tried to shove it off, in our hearts, we felt there was definitely a connection. I was very happy to find a friend and I am very thankful to find love as well.
It was not an easy road for both of us. Me - jaded by my previous heartbreak. You - bound to make another decision. Somehow, we found ourselves in a situation we both had been before.
PAST - Whatever hurdles we went through, I am thankful and glad that they are behind us now. PRESENT PERFECT - We have been patiently weathering the distance. For now, we only have sketches of what lies ahead. I am constantly looking forward to taking the trip and exploring the world together with you. FUTURE PROGRESSIVE - We will be counting all the things we can accomplish together.
We have only just begun, and hopefully our journey leads to endless starry, starry nights together.
I love you Vince.