Before anybody object and judge me of my vanity, please allow me to open this blog with the Serenity Prayer, lest we forget:
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference."
DISCLAIMER: This entry is a saga (meaning a long story of heroic achievement), so bear with me if this is quite longer than your ordinary blog. Moreover, for the record, I'm not advocating any weight loss product or program whatsoever.
I have always been conscious of my body figure even way back when I was still in the Philippines (thanks to my mother's joking of me getting liposuction, and threats of not buying me clothes every time I'd get chunky). It's not that bad or extreme as it sounds but it definitely had an effect. Of course, who doesn't want to get new clothes every now and then, right? As true to most of us, losing weight is never a problem in younger years. Back in the days, I would just do my regular one-week night shift in the hospital and lo and behold, the blubbers are gone instantly and magically.
To give you a little more history, when I moved to Canada in 2005, I weighed a little more than 100 pounds - roughly 102 pounds I would think. At that weight, I was already chunky for my petite frame. Muffin tops and belly fats. Not to mention, the meaty arms. Uuugggggh ! I can hear my mother (yes, her again!) saying to me before I left the Philippines, "Anak, 'wag na 'wag kang magpapataba pagdating mo sa Canada, ha?" (Pardon me as my English translation may sound brutal: "My child, don't you ever get fat when you get to Canada.") It was like a commandment written on stone.
My first few years in Canada was adjustment period. I went through a lot of stuff - hardships, unwanted experiences, depression, frustration - and before I knew it, I shrunk myself to 98 pounds - unplanned. Even a double extra small size dress was big for me then. Every once in a while, I would gain but I stabilized around the 98 to 100-pound range. I went to the gym a couple of times and attended a few classes whenever I would feel I gained. I sort of developed an awareness of my weight and body figure. Now, you may be wondering when did I officially declare a war against weight gain. Keep on reading, please.
My weight battle saga began in the spring of 2009. It was the time when I fully recovered from my badly broken heart (a very effective weight loss program - but not advisable!), and I started going out with Vince ♥. We shared the same passion for food and gastronomic adventure. We both have a voracious appetite that feeds off on each other's. Sooner than later, before I knew it, I blew up myself to a whooping 120 pounds - beat that ! It was like all the weight that I evaded during the first quarter or so of my life finally caught up on me with a vengeance. Aaaarrrggggghhhh !!!
120 pounds was the heaviest I got. With my tiny frame, there was no way I could hide that weight. I looked unproportional. People around me noticed it and I got mixed reactions. Some actually preferred and liked the heavier-me look as opposed to the skinnier-me. One comment I won't forget is, "Bakit ganyan ka tumaba? Nakakatakot!" I dare not translate that but let's just put it this way for my non-Filipino readers: It made me feel like a monster - literally - maybe it was just the choice of words but that remark broke the camel's back. It was the perfect reason to officially declare the war against weight gain.
I'm telling you it is not an easy battle. Most of the time, I'm on the losing side. From 120 pounds, I was able to bring it down to 112 pounds. I have a stressful job so I guess that helped a lot in my case. There are rare times that I dropped to 108 pounds but basically it played around the 110-112-pound range. Recently, I plateaued at 110 pounds. I wasn't quite satisfied but nevertheless happy that I was able to lose 10 pounds in about two years' time. Although a tiny voice inside me survives to say that I can lose more, I was close to coming to terms and accepting that there is no more going down beyond 110 pounds for me. I almost surrendered at that point.
Until one day, I got another friendly comment, "Ang taba mo na nga!" That was the signal that made me turn the flags upside down, and start the battle again. As a strategy this time, I recruited outside forces. I enrolled in Weight Watchers Online. Good grief !
I've been a member of the Weight Watchers for a little more than a month now. Guess what? I lost 3 pounds already !!! Yehey !!! There is indeed hope. It's never too late to lose weight -- this actually sounds a pretty good motto. Haha ! Basically, Weight Watchers is all about portion sizes (measuring cups and serving sizes are a must!), healthy choices, and exercise. I haven't been faithfully following the Weight Watchers Points Plus food intake limit per day for my healthy weight goal of 102 pounds, but I am already losing weight. I can just imagine that if I strictly adhere to the program, oh my gosh, I will be losing weight faster than you can say, "Wow!" I didn't set a time length, as I wanted to take it easy, bit by bit. One thing for sure is that I am working on it - even Vince can attest to that - and hopefully one day I'd get there and overcome this self-declared weight battle and finally put an end to this saga.
Going back to the Serenity Prayer above, I understand that my current weight is something I can change - so I'm mustering the courage to change it - until it reaches the mark, that I can no longer change it and just have to accept it the way it is. There is a healthy weight range for each one of us and a reasonable plan to attain it.
Thank you for spending time to read my blog. Allow me again to end this entry (not the saga... not yet) with a prayer for all my friends who are in the same predicament as I am:
|JUST KIDDING !!! :p|
PS: Vince has lost 3 pounds too, and oh boy, he is definitely a happy camper ! :)